I do not enjoy computer jokes . Not one bit .
I changed my iPod name to Titanic . It's syncing now .
When chemists die, they barium .
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met her-bivore .
A guy got arrested for playing the guitar. For fingering A minor.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra .........
PMS jokes aren't funny, period . [or NO period?]
Why were the Indians here first ? They had reservations .
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz .
Energizer battery arrested . Charged with battery . I didn't like my beard at first . Then it grew on me .
How do you make holy water ? Boil the hell out of it !
Did you hear about the cross- eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils ?
When you get a bladder infection , urine trouble .
What does a clock do when it's hungry ? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me !
Broken pencils are pointless .
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus .
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on .
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes .
Velcro - what a rip off !
Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy . Venison for dinner ? Oh deer !
Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault .
I used t think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure .
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too .
-Contributed by H. Clarke