Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Prayer Before Sunday Dinner


Little Johnny and his family were having a Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house.

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started to eat right away.

"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his mother.

"I don't need to," the boy replied.

"Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook."

[forwarded by Jerry Lambert]

today'sTHOT======================================
Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters? : )

06.06: A Career Funny


today'sFUNNY===========================

It's career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today.

Little Rodney stands up and says, "My father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook".

"Good Rodney." says the teacher, "How about you, Johnny?'"

Johnny stands up and says, "My father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no ....L-E-C-K- no....

The teacher interrupts, "never mind Johnny, sit down, how about you Vinnie?"

Vinnie stands up and says, "My dad's a bookie, that's B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he'd give you ten-to-one odds that there's no way Johnny's ever gonna spell electrician!"

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

givingCREDIT===========================

Last week's Wisdom "Funny" has been attributed to Mother Teresa, however apparently the original was written by Kent Keith. Thanks to reader Lisa O for sending this link that clears it up:
http://prayerfoundation.org/mother_teresa_do_it_anyway.htm

today'sTHOT============================

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

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Senior Blessings


Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh....It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!


1. Kidnappers are not very Interested in you. 

2. In a hostage situation, You are likely to be released first.
 

3. No one expects you to run-- Anywhere.
 

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
 

5. People no longer view you as a
Hypochondriac.

 

6. There is nothing left
To learn the hard way.

 

7. Things you buy now
Won't wear out.

 

8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM. 9. You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
 

10. You get into heated arguments
About pension plans.

 

11. You no longer think of speed limits
as a challenge.

 

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
 

13. You sing along With elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
 

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
 

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
 

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
 

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
 

And you notice these are all in big print
for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, 
NEVER, Under any circumstances, Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on The same night!

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.