Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Recession Hits EVERYBODY!

I heard a student say once that he heard the word "recess-ion" and thought it meant afternoon recess. (:-)

Contributed by Brian

Things that happened in the recession .....

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife...

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call them and ask if they meant you .... or them!

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. 

[I tried to get her to adopt me but she thought I was too old. We seniors get NO respect!]

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now worth .... 200 words.

When Bill and Hilary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So the guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!

And finally .....

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds etc. I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane or drive a truck!... (:-)

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Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

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