Are YOU a genius?

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Thomas Edison

Sunday, October 14, 2007

NEW Footsteps by Daniel O'Donnell

FOOTPRINTS...A New Version

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.

But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.


For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently.

You and Jesus are walking as true friends!

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.

Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one.


This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.

Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.

You are amazed and shocked.
Your dream ends. Now you pray:
"Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You."

"That is correct."


"And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely."


"Very good.. You have understood everything so far."


When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way."


"Precisely."


"So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first."


There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.


"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"

A Season

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1,4.

Monday, October 1, 2007

I LOVE my Job!

I LOVE MY JOB . . . . . .

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This
is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit
with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi..

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing
in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived
at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as
I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was
swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

A Time to CELEBRATE !!! Canada! The U.S.!

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Robin Williams - The Flag

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Some Funny Videos - Like PowerPoint?

Have you ever seen a PowerPoint presentation that was SOOO GOOD, you couldn't take your eyes from it?

On the other hand, have you ever seen one which you couldn't get your eyes open again?

Check some of these out. And if you need help with YOUR POWERPOINT, checkout my PowerPoint Presentations Blog.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this one! Apparently it was done for an English class. I think an A+ would be in order!

The Ballad of PowerPoint [LIKE IT FULL SCREEN?]





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